Banta Singh..... Bank Robbery

Banta Singh, wanting to rob State Bank of Patiala, walked into the branch and sticked a note "Put all your muny in this bag." on the back of a deposit slip.

While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that some-one had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller window.

So he left the bank and crossed the street to State Bank of India. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the SBI teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because
it was written on a State Bank of Patiala deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a State Bank of India deposit slip or go back to State Bank of Patiala.

Looking somewhat defeated, Banta said "OK" and left. The SBI teller then called the police who arrested the man a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at State Bank of Patiala.

Spielberg and chinese man

One Chinese person walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg.

As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph. Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get out of here."

The astonished Chinese man replied "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor, it was the Japanese". "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese,
you're all the same," replied Spielberg.


In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."

Shocked, Spielberg replies "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me." The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."

Joke

MOM: "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school."

SON: "But why, Mama? I don't want to go to school."

MOM: "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school."

SON: "One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me."

MOM: "Oh! that's not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school."

SON: "Give me two good reasons WHY I *should* go to school?"

MOM: "One, you are FIFTY-NINE years old and should understand your responsibilities. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school."

Drink And Drive

10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving. Which means it a logical statement that 90% of accidents are due to driving without driving

What would you opt????

Grass Eaters

A man was riding in the back of his luxurious car when he saw a man eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
"Why are you eating grass?" he asked the man.

"I don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.

"Oh, please come to my house!"

"But sir, I have a wife and four children..."

"Bring them along!" the rich man said.

They all climbed into the car. Once underway, the poor fellow said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us in."

The rich man replied, "No, you don't understand. The grass at my house is over three feet tall!"

Vijender - Bronzee Only - Loses Semifinal

Hopes are vanished. Vijender settles for a Bronze, loses the game to his Cuban rival Emilio Correa Bayeaux in the semifinals of the 75kg category on Friday.

Pascal is Out - Intelligence and Sponteinity of Einstein

Once all the scientists die and go to heaven............ They decide to play hide-n-seek.........

Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den...........He is supposed to count up to 100...and then start searching.....

Everyone starts hiding except Newton.........
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein...........

Einstein's counting 1,2,3......97,98,99.....100........ He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front........

Einstein says "newton's out..newton's....out....."
Newton denies and says i am not out........
He claims that he is not Newton......

All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not Newton..........

Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1m
squared..... That makes me Newton per meter squared......
since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I'm Pascal, Therefore Pascal is OUT...........!This message was sent to you by Sriram Sarma... Back to work.

Golden Days for India in the history of Olympics

20th August 2008, a golden day for India at Olympics. Not only this time but, in the whole hsitory of Olympics. In the entire arena of 120 years, India never won more than 2 medals. This time Abhinav Bindra shot on bull's eye, Sushil Kumar made it in wrestling ring with a bronze and last but not the least Vijender kumar in Boxing punched a sure medal, entered in Semifinal.


Come On India!

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Records Held by Sachin Tendulkar

Just have look at the records held by Sachin Tendulkar. No wonder why British Prime Minister is suggesting him for the honor of Sir .......

1. Highest Run scorer in the ODI
2. Most number of hundreds in the ODI 41
3. Most number of nineties in the ODI
4. Most number of man of the matches(56) in the ODI's
5. Most number of man of the series(14) in ODI's
6. Best average for man of the matches in ODI's
7. First Cricketer to pass 10000 run in the ODI
8. First Cricketer to pass 15000 run in the ODI
9. He is the highest run scorer in the world cup (1,796 at an average of 59.87 as on 20 March 2007)
10. Most number of the man of the matches in the world cup
11. Most number of runs 1996 world cup 523 runs in the 1996 Cricket World Cup at an average of 87.16
12. Most number of runs in the 2003 world cup 673 runs in 2003 Cricket World Cup, highest by any player in a single Cricket World Cup
13. He was Player of the World Cup Tournament in the 2003 Cricket World Cup.
14. Most number of Fifties in ODI's 87
15. Appeared in Most Number of ODI's 407
16. He is the only player to be in top 10 ICC ranking for 10 years.
17. Most number of 100's in test's 38
18. He is one of the three batsmen to surpass 11,000 runs in Test cricket, and the first Indian to do so
19. He is thus far the only cricketer to receive the Rajiv Gandhi Khel Ratna, India's highest sporting honor
20. In 2003, Wisden rated Tendulkar as d No. 1 and Richards at No. 2 in all time Greatest ODI player
21. In 2002, Wisden rated him as the second greatest Test batsman after Sir Donald Bradman.
22. he was involved in unbroken 664-run partnership in a Harris Shield game in 1988 with friend and team mate Vinod Kambli,
23. Tendulkar is the only player to score a century in all three of his Ranji Trophy, Duleep Trophy and Irani Trophy debuts
24. In 1992, at the age of 19, Tendulkar became the first overseas born player to represent Yorkshire
25. Tendulkar has been granted the Rajiv Gandhi Khel Ratna, Arjuna Award and Padma Shri by Indian government. He is the only Indian cricketer to get all of them.
26. Tendulkar has scored over 1000 runs in a calendar year in ODI's 7 times
27. Tendulkar has scored 1894 runs in calendar year in ODI's most by any batsman
28. He is the highest earning cricketer in the world
29. He has the least percentage of the man of the matches awards won when team looses a match. Out of his 56 man of the match awards only 5 times India has lost.
30. Tendulkar most number man of match awards(10) against Australia
31. In August of 2003, Sachin Tendulkar was voted as the "Greatest Sportsman" of the country in the sport personalities category in the Best of India poll conducted by Zee News.
32. In November 2006, Time magazine named Tendulkar as one of the Asian Heroes.
33. In December 2006, he was named "Sports person of the Year
34. The current India Poised campaign run by The Times of India has nominated him as the Face of New India next to the likes of Amartya Sen and Mahatma Gandhi among others.
35. Tendulkar was the first batsman in history to score over 50 centuries in international cricket
36. Tendulkar was the first batsman in history to score over 75 centuries in international cricket:79 centuries
37. Has the most overall runs in cricket, (ODIs+Tests+Twenty20s), as of 30 June 2007 he had accumulated almost 26,000 runs overall.
38. Is second on the most number of runs in test cricket just after Brian Lara
39. Sachin Tendulkar with Sourav Ganguly hold the world record for the maximum number of runs scored by the opening partnership. They have put together 6,271 runs in 128 matches
40. The 20 century partnerships for opening pair with Sourav Ganguly is a world record
41. Sachin Tendulkar and Rahul Dravid hold the world record for the highest partnership in ODI matches when they scored 331 runs against New Zealand in 1999
42. Sachin Tendulkar has been involved in six 200 run partnerships in ODI matches - a record that he shares with Sourav Ganguly and Rahul Dravid
43. Most Centuries in a calendar year: 9 ODI centuries in 1998
44. Only player to have over 100 innings of 50+ runs (41 Centuries and 87 Fifties)(as of 18th Nov, 2007)
45. the only player ever to cross the 13,000-14,000 and 15,000 run marks IN ODI.
46. Highest individual score among Indian batsmen (186* against New Zealand at Hyderabad in 1999).
47. The score of 186* is listed the fifth highest score recorded in ODI matches
48. Tendulkar has scored over 1000 ODI runs against all major Cricketing nations.
49. Sachin was the fastest to reach 10,000 runs taking 259 innings and has the highest batting average among batsmen with over 10,000 ODI runs
50. Most number of Stadium Appearances: 90 different Grounds
51. Consecutive ODI Appearances: 185
52. On his debut, Sachin Tendulkar was the second youngest debutant in the world
53. When Tendulkar scored his maiden century in 1990, he was the second youngest to score a century
54. Tendulkar's record of five test centuries before he turned 20 is a current world record
55. Tendulkar holds the current record (217 against NZ in 1999/00 Season) for the highest score in Test cricket by an Indian when captaining the side
56. Tendulkar has scored centuries against all test playing nations.[7] He was the third batman to achieve the distinction after Steve Waugh and Gary Kirsten
57. Tendulkar has 4 seasons in test cricket with 1000 or more runs - 2002 (1392 runs), 1999 (1088 runs), 2001 (1003 runs) and 1997 (1000 runs).[6] Gavaskar is the only other Indian with four seasons of 1000+ runs
58. He is second most number of seasons with over 1000 runs in world.
59. On 3 January 2007 Sachin Tendulkar (5751) edged past Brian Lara's (5736) world record of runs scored in Tests away from home
60. Tendulkar and Brian Lara are the fastest to score 10,000 runs in Test cricket history. Both of them achieved this in 195 innings
61. Second Indian after Sunil Gavaskar to make over 10,000 runs in Test matches
62. Became the first Indian to surpass the 11,000 Test run mark and the third International player behind Allan Border and Brian Lara.
63. Tendulkar is fourth on the list of players with most Test caps. Steve Waugh (168 Tests), Allan Border (158 Tests), Shane Warne (145 Tests) have appeared in more games than Tendulkar
64. Tendulkar has played the most number of Test Matches(144) for India (Kapil Dev is second with 131 Test appearances).
65. First to 25,000 international runs
66. Tendulkar's 25,016 runs in international cricket include 14,537 runs in ODI's, 10,469 Tests runs and 10 runs in the lone Twenty20 that India has played.
67. On December 10, 2005, Tendulkar made his 35th century in Tests at Delhi against Sri Lanka. He surpassed Sunil Gavaskar's record of 34 centuries to become the man with the most number of hundreds in Test cricket.
68. Tendulkar is the only player who has 150 wkts and more than 15000 runs in ODI
69. Tendulkar is the only player who has 40 wkts and more than 11000 runs in Tests
70. Only batsman to have 100 hundreds in the first class cricket