Train mein TT Sadhu se bola: Kahan jana hai?
Sadhu: Jahan Ram ka janam hua tha.
TT: Ticket hai? Sadhu: Nahin
TT: Chalo Sadhu: Kahan?
TT: Jahan Krishan ka janam hua tha.. Jail mein
Friday, September 19, 2008
Sardar and His Sister
Sardar apni sister ke saath bike pe ja raha tha.
Boy : Oh! Singji girlfriend ke saath kaha ja rahe ho
Sardar: Oye! girlfriend hogi teri , meri tho sister hai.
Boy : Oh! Singji girlfriend ke saath kaha ja rahe ho
Sardar: Oye! girlfriend hogi teri , meri tho sister hai.
Train Accident in Amritsar .... Sardar
“Aaj Tak” gets news that 100 Sardars are killed in a train accident at Amritsar station. Only one Sardar left alive.
The correspondent goes to the Sardarji and the conversation between them goes as follows:
Correspondent : How did this happen?
Sardarji : Well, all the people were waiting for the train. They were standing on the platform. Then there was this announcement that the train is arriving on platform number 2.
They got scared to know that the train is arriving on the platform and hence they jumped onto the tracks to save themselves. The announcement was misleading. The train arrived on the track and you can see the result.
Correspondent : Well, I guess, you must be the intelligent. Why did you not jump onto the tracks?
Sardarji : I was actually trying to commit suicide. I was waiting for the train on the tracks. When I heard that the train is arriving on the platform, I climbed up…
The correspondent goes to the Sardarji and the conversation between them goes as follows:
Correspondent : How did this happen?
Sardarji : Well, all the people were waiting for the train. They were standing on the platform. Then there was this announcement that the train is arriving on platform number 2.
They got scared to know that the train is arriving on the platform and hence they jumped onto the tracks to save themselves. The announcement was misleading. The train arrived on the track and you can see the result.
Correspondent : Well, I guess, you must be the intelligent. Why did you not jump onto the tracks?
Sardarji : I was actually trying to commit suicide. I was waiting for the train on the tracks. When I heard that the train is arriving on the platform, I climbed up…
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Sardar and Pathan
Once one sardar and one pathan were traveling in a train. Sardar was trying to open his suitcase to take out his night dress, but he was unable to open it. Pathan came and opened the suitcase and said " Pathan Sher ka bachcha hai" and went off .
After an hour sardar was busy in opening his lunch box, but he could not open it. Pathan came, opened the box and said "Pathan Sher ka bachcha hai" and went off .
After some time sardar was trying to open the door of the toilet but he could not. Again Pathan came and opened it with one kick and said " Pathan Sher ka bachcha hai"
This time sardar became angry he asked pathan "oye muzhe ek baat bata, teri ma jungle gayi thi ya sher tere ghar aaya tha?"
After an hour sardar was busy in opening his lunch box, but he could not open it. Pathan came, opened the box and said "Pathan Sher ka bachcha hai" and went off .
After some time sardar was trying to open the door of the toilet but he could not. Again Pathan came and opened it with one kick and said " Pathan Sher ka bachcha hai"
This time sardar became angry he asked pathan "oye muzhe ek baat bata, teri ma jungle gayi thi ya sher tere ghar aaya tha?"
Real Story of A Girl
This is a real story of a young college girl who passed away last month in Chandigarh.
Her name was Priya. She was hit by a truck. She was working in a call center. She had a boy friend named Shankar. Both of them were true lovers. They always talked on the phone.
You would never find them without their hand phones. In fact she also changed her cell connection from Airtel to Hutch, so that both of them can be on the same network, and save on the cost.
She used to spend half of the day talking with shankar.
Priya's family knew about their relationship. Shankar was very close to Priya's family as well. (Just imagine their love).
Before she passed away she always told her friends "If I pass away please burn me with my handphone" she also said the same thing to her parents.
After her death, people couldn't carry her body, A lot of them tried to do so but still cant everybody had tried to carry the body, the results were the same.
Eventually, they called a person known to one of their neighbours, who can speak with the soul of dead person and who was a friend of her father.
He took a stick and started speaking to himself slowly.
After a few minutes, he said "this girl misses something here." Then her friends told that person about her intentions to burn her with her phone.
He then opened the grave box and placed her phone and sim card inside the casket. After that they tried to carry the body. It was then moved easily and they then carried her into the van.
All of us were shocked. Priya's parents did not inform Shankar that Priya had passed away.
After 2 weeks Shankar called Priya's mom.....
Shankar :...."Aunty, I'm coming home today. Cook something nice for me.
Don't tell Priya that I'm coming home today, I wanna surprise her."
Her mother replied.....
"You come home first, I wanna tell you something very important."
After he came, they told him the truth about Priya.
Shankar thinks that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said "don't try to fool me - tell Priya to come out, i have a gift for her.
"Please stop this nonsense".
Then they shown the original death certificate to him.
They gave him proof to make him believe. (Shankar started to sweat)
He said...
"Its not true. We spoke yesterday. She still calls me.
Shankar was shaking.
Suddenly, Shankar's phone rang.
"see this is from Priya, see this...." he showed the phone number to priya's family. all of them told him to answer.
He talked to her using the loudspeaker mode.
All of them heard his conversation.
Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming.
It is the actual voice of Priya & there is no way others could use her sim card since it is nailed inside the grave box.
They were so shocked and asked for the same person's, (who can speak with the soul of dead persons) help again.
He brought his master to solve this matter.
He & his master worked for 5 hours.
Then they discovered one thing, which really shocked them...
HUTCH has the best coverage.
"Where ever you go, our network follows ;-)"
Her name was Priya. She was hit by a truck. She was working in a call center. She had a boy friend named Shankar. Both of them were true lovers. They always talked on the phone.
You would never find them without their hand phones. In fact she also changed her cell connection from Airtel to Hutch, so that both of them can be on the same network, and save on the cost.
She used to spend half of the day talking with shankar.
Priya's family knew about their relationship. Shankar was very close to Priya's family as well. (Just imagine their love).
Before she passed away she always told her friends "If I pass away please burn me with my handphone" she also said the same thing to her parents.
After her death, people couldn't carry her body, A lot of them tried to do so but still cant everybody had tried to carry the body, the results were the same.
Eventually, they called a person known to one of their neighbours, who can speak with the soul of dead person and who was a friend of her father.
He took a stick and started speaking to himself slowly.
After a few minutes, he said "this girl misses something here." Then her friends told that person about her intentions to burn her with her phone.
He then opened the grave box and placed her phone and sim card inside the casket. After that they tried to carry the body. It was then moved easily and they then carried her into the van.
All of us were shocked. Priya's parents did not inform Shankar that Priya had passed away.
After 2 weeks Shankar called Priya's mom.....
Shankar :...."Aunty, I'm coming home today. Cook something nice for me.
Don't tell Priya that I'm coming home today, I wanna surprise her."
Her mother replied.....
"You come home first, I wanna tell you something very important."
After he came, they told him the truth about Priya.
Shankar thinks that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said "don't try to fool me - tell Priya to come out, i have a gift for her.
"Please stop this nonsense".
Then they shown the original death certificate to him.
They gave him proof to make him believe. (Shankar started to sweat)
He said...
"Its not true. We spoke yesterday. She still calls me.
Shankar was shaking.
Suddenly, Shankar's phone rang.
"see this is from Priya, see this...." he showed the phone number to priya's family. all of them told him to answer.
He talked to her using the loudspeaker mode.
All of them heard his conversation.
Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming.
It is the actual voice of Priya & there is no way others could use her sim card since it is nailed inside the grave box.
They were so shocked and asked for the same person's, (who can speak with the soul of dead persons) help again.
He brought his master to solve this matter.
He & his master worked for 5 hours.
Then they discovered one thing, which really shocked them...
HUTCH has the best coverage.
"Where ever you go, our network follows ;-)"
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
ATTITUDE
small truth to make our Life
100% successful....
(if)
A = 1
B = 2
C = 3
D = 4
E = 5
F = 6
G = 7
H = 8
I = 9
J = 10
K = 11
L = 12
M = 13
N = 14
O = 15
P = 16
Q = 17
R = 18
S = 19
T = 20
U = 21
V = 22
W = 23
X = 24
Y = 25
Z = 26
______
Then
H = 8
A = 1
R = 18
D = 4
W = 23
O = 15
R = 18
K = 11
Makes 98%
______
K = 11
N = 14
O = 15
W = 23
L = 12
E = 5
D = 4
G = 7
E = 5
Makes 96%
_____
L = 12
O = 15
V = 22
E = 5
Makes 54%
_____
L = 12
U = 21
C = 3
K = 11
Makes 47%
(None of them makes 100%)
_____
Then what makes 100%??
Is it Money? ..... NO!!!
Leadership? ..... NO!!!
Every problem has a solution,
only if we perhaps change our "ATTITUDE".
It is OUR ATTITUDE towards
Life and Work that makes
OUR Life 100%
100% successful....
(if)
A = 1
B = 2
C = 3
D = 4
E = 5
F = 6
G = 7
H = 8
I = 9
J = 10
K = 11
L = 12
M = 13
N = 14
O = 15
P = 16
Q = 17
R = 18
S = 19
T = 20
U = 21
V = 22
W = 23
X = 24
Y = 25
Z = 26
______
Then
H = 8
A = 1
R = 18
D = 4
W = 23
O = 15
R = 18
K = 11
Makes 98%
______
K = 11
N = 14
O = 15
W = 23
L = 12
E = 5
D = 4
G = 7
E = 5
Makes 96%
_____
L = 12
O = 15
V = 22
E = 5
Makes 54%
_____
L = 12
U = 21
C = 3
K = 11
Makes 47%
(None of them makes 100%)
_____
Then what makes 100%??
Is it Money? ..... NO!!!
Leadership? ..... NO!!!
Every problem has a solution,
only if we perhaps change our "ATTITUDE".
It is OUR ATTITUDE towards
Life and Work that makes
OUR Life 100%
Racial Tommy Hilfiger
I'm sure many of you watched the recent taping of the Oprah Winfrey show in Chicago where her guest was Tommy Hilfiger. On the show, she asked him if the statements about race he was accused of saying were true.
Statements like"..."If I'd known African-Americans, Hispanics, Jewish, INDIAN and Asians would buy my clothes, I WOULD NOT have made them so nice. I wish these people would *NOT* buy my clothes, as they are made for upper class white people."
His answer to Oprah was a simple "YES".
Where after she immediately asked him to leave her show.
A suggestion? Don't buy your next shirt or perfume from Tommy Hilfiger.
Let him get what he asked for. Let's not buy his clothes, let's put him in a financial state where he himself will not be able to afford the ridiculous prices he puts on his clothes.
If we are small, then send it to the whole community and see the result.
We have to see the result of unity. Stop buying all range of Hillfiger products, perfume, cosmetics, clothes, bags etc
Save our Dignity
Statements like"..."If I'd known African-Americans, Hispanics, Jewish, INDIAN and Asians would buy my clothes, I WOULD NOT have made them so nice. I wish these people would *NOT* buy my clothes, as they are made for upper class white people."
His answer to Oprah was a simple "YES".
Where after she immediately asked him to leave her show.
A suggestion? Don't buy your next shirt or perfume from Tommy Hilfiger.
Let him get what he asked for. Let's not buy his clothes, let's put him in a financial state where he himself will not be able to afford the ridiculous prices he puts on his clothes.
If we are small, then send it to the whole community and see the result.
We have to see the result of unity. Stop buying all range of Hillfiger products, perfume, cosmetics, clothes, bags etc
Save our Dignity
Santa ...... Calling Bell
lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again,
Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again,
Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.
Santa's Parking fine
Santa was sitting at road side for a long time.
Banta asked him - Why are you wasting your time?
Santa: I am taking revenge.
Banta: How????
Santa: Is waqt ne mujhe barbaad kiya hai... ab main waqt ko barbaad kar raha hoon
...................................................................................................................................................................................Sardar Santa comes back 2 his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine"He writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 d complement"
Banta asked him - Why are you wasting your time?
Santa: I am taking revenge.
Banta: How????
Santa: Is waqt ne mujhe barbaad kiya hai... ab main waqt ko barbaad kar raha hoon
...................................................................................................................................................................................Sardar Santa comes back 2 his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine"He writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 d complement"
Cola Salesman in Arab
A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East assignment.
A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?"
The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will makes a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters...
First poster, a man crawling through the hot desert sand... Totally exhausted and panting. Second poster, the man is drinking our Cola and Third, our man is now totally refreshed. Then these posters were pasted all over the place"
"That should have worked," said the friend.
The salesman replied, " Well, not only did I not speak Arabic, I also didn't realise that Arabs Read from Right to Left..."
A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?"
The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will makes a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters...
First poster, a man crawling through the hot desert sand... Totally exhausted and panting. Second poster, the man is drinking our Cola and Third, our man is now totally refreshed. Then these posters were pasted all over the place"
"That should have worked," said the friend.
The salesman replied, " Well, not only did I not speak Arabic, I also didn't realise that Arabs Read from Right to Left..."
This doesnt need a subject
A jobless man applied for the position of "office boy" at Microsoft. The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.
"You are employed." He said." Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start."
The man replied "But I don't have a computer, neither an email."
"I'm sorry", said the HR manager, "If you don't have an email, that
means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job."
The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate.
He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the Operation three times, and returned home with $60. The man realized that he could survive by this Way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late Thus, his money doubled or tripled every day. Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.
5 years later , the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US . He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance. He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan. When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email. The man replied, "I don't have an email". The broker answered curiously, "You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an email?"
The man thought for a while and replied, "Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!"
Moral of the story:
M1 - Internet is not the solution to your life.
M2 - If you don't have internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.
M3 - If you received this message by email, you are closer to being an office boy, than a millionaire. ...........
Have a great day!
Smiling after reading is not mandatory!
Carry on............................
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